Recommended Reading - Resurrection Year by Sheridan Voysey

One of the most important books I have read this year, is "Resurrection Year" by Sheridan Voysey. In fact, it has been so important, I bought a copy for a friend in the same situation and recommend it to anyone who wants to understand what we #1in6 are going through.

Sheridan shares the journey he and his wife, Merryn, have travelled as they started out: hopeful at the family they would raise together; until they found themselves trudging toward huge barriers to their dream. As with all of us, they tried "every trick in the book", so to speak. 

But this is not a fairy tale, it is real life. Gritty. Passionate. Heartfelt. There's no guarantee of a happy ending, and this is what I love about what Sheridan shares, as he opens up about  the trauma, the pain and the humour of their experience in trying IVF as an option, as well as the heartache when they started adoption processes. Nothing seemed to work. Nothing seemed to help. All the healing prayers with or without anointing oil, by one or a group of people seemed as unfulfilled as the medical treatments.

What I really value about Ressurection Year is that Sheridan doesn't try to jazz up the story. He is authentic about the burden he and his wife carried, and as I read through it, I found the pain of my journey meant I could, to an extent, feel the rawness of his and Merryn's anguish. To the extent that I found it very difficult to read, except in small bursts. A chapter here, a few pages there. I started it in January and finished it in September (just in time to start reading Sheirdan's new book "Resilient" which was launched in October!).

I think Resurrection Year, will always be my "go-to" book, when I feel like I am alone in this walk. And I will always recommend it as an excellent resource to understand infertility & sub fertility. Hearing the testimony from a husband's perspective adds a new dimension to what this journey is all about. So often we can focus on what the women go through, but husbands feel it too. Their dreams are just as broken as ours. Don't forget about them.

Talking About Fertility on Premier Radio

In the week leading up to the National Infertility Awareness Week, Maria Rodrigues-Toth interviewed Rosemary Morgan, author of the book, "Living With Infertility: A Christian Perspective" about her journey with infertility, on her Woman to Woman show (Premier Christian Radio).

Within the interview, Rosemary is honest about her relationship with God, and her anger toward Him, feeling that He was doing something terrible toward her, in withholding a baby from her. What she found though, was that God was feeling the pain she was - His arms aching for His children, just as her own arms ached to hold her own baby. She also speaks of the challenges to her womanhood, and the disappointment she felt each month having to tell her Hubby they were not pregnant, not to mention the things people say!

I have since ordered the book, on the back of hearing the interview, which I will review. In the meantime, click here to listen to Maria's interview with Rosemary on Premier Christian Radio's Woman to Woman show.

Supernatural Childbirth - Another Helpful Book

Before Christmas, a friend of mine lent me a book she had been reading. She is, like me, struggling to conceive. She is further on in her journey, having tried IVF a couple of times. It helps to know that we are not the only couple in the Church who have been struggling with this issue. Anyway, she had bought a book called Supernatural Childbirth, by Jacki Mize (view book and biography on the Publishers website).

Now a few years ago, this book was doing "the rounds" among my pregnant friends, because in it Jackie talks about having pain-free births for the last three of her four children. So I have to be honest and say that initially, when I was given the book, my first thoughts were, "thank you very much, but I won't read that". I took it home and put it on my bedside table praying, "Lord, if You think there is something I can get from this book, then please prompt me to read it, otherwise I'll give it back to her in a couple of weeks."

I then forgot about it, as it gradually became buried under my Bible, my journal and a couple of other books I was reading!


About a week ago, it was staring at me from under my Bible, and I decided to read it. I have to be honest and say it was not what I had expected. I guess because it is called supernatural childBIRTH, and because all my pregnant friends had read it in preparation for their labour, I'd had pre-conceived ideas about it not being relevant for someone struggling to conceive - almost forgetting that my friend who gave it to me is also TTC.

Jackie Mize says, thoughout the book, that to start praying for a supernatural childbirth is best before you conceive. She talks about her own struggle to conceive, and the lessons she learnt through talking with God about her struggle, and about the prayers she prayed leading to the result of having three children supernaturally, pain-free and without complication. She says it's OK to ask God for a particular gender, and it is more worthwhile asking God before you conceive, rather than expecting Him to change the baby's gender in your womb! She says it is more beneficial to pray over every aspect of the pregnancy and labour before you are, as you invite God into the whole process, rather than at the end of it.

She looks at the relationships in the Bible of the "barren women", and shares some of the insights God gave to her and her husband, including some important lessons regarding the curse given by God after Adam and Eve had sinned in the Garden (see Genesis 3:14-19). She explains how the Holy Spirit had revealed to her and her husband that the word "sorrow" doesn't mean sadness / pain etc.. as has been interpreted for centuries. Rather the Hebrew word "sorrow" has the same meaning as "grief" as used of Jesus when He faces the cross. Jesus is not sorrowful - He is grieved.

One of the greatest aspects of this small book, for me, was the fact that throughout there is a sense of Jackie and her husband Terry TOGETHER in the journey. Her husband shares her sorrow and grief and together they seek God for conception and a pain free pregnancy and delivery. There's such a sense that she was not alone in her Journey for Bubba.

At the end of the book, Jackie provides the reader with a selection of prayers she prayed, not as a "this is how it should be done", but as a "this worked for me, allow the Holy Spirit to adapt it for you". Sometimes I find it hard to know HOW to pray, so having this book has opened up a way for me to pray when I don't know how to. Not because I don't rely on the Holy Spirit, but because it helps to have the guidance of others who have gone before me.

The upshot of this is that I have ordered the book for myself, and the corresponding Prayers and Promises for Supernatural Childbirth which Jackie produced later!

If, like me, you sometimes just don't know how to pray, because infertility is one of those topics which isn't discussed much in Churches, then I would recommend you have a look at this one. Praying for our Bubba before he or she arrives, covering him or her at every stage of life, from conception to development to their arrival in the world, seems logical to me. I often pray for Bubba, but reading Supernatural Childbirth opened my eyes to praying wider... for a healthy egg and healthy sperm, for development in the womb, against any complications etc... as Jackie says, its better to pray before something has happened than after!

Empty Womb, Aching Heart - A Very Helpful Book!!

A few weeks ago, I really wanted a book I could read in relation to this journey of struggling to conceive. I didn't want one of those self-help, got all the answers, this worked for me kind of book, I just wanted something I could dip into for encouragement. Did such a book exist??

As I searched the internet, I found something which seemed to fit my criteria - "Empty Womb, Aching Heart" by Marlo Schalesky. It is a collection of stories from real people who have walked this path before me, and there is no fan-fare presentation which made me feel worse than I did already, for not having enough faith or whatever, rather they are people who have thought the same thoughts as me, and fought against the same feelings of injustice as me.

The testimonies are from women, couples and men and are woven into five sections with the headings:

• Struggles of the heart
• Struggles of the mind
• Struggles of the body
• Struggles of the spirit
• A word of hope

Within each heading, I found someone who's story I related to... I've been in the situation where it seems like everyone around me is pregnant, except me, I've struggled with being in Church on Mother's Day, I've received maddening advice from well-meaning women, I've struggled with the thoughts that I am less than a women because I've not yet been able to do what is supposed to be a natural part of being a woman, and I have wondered if God was punishing me. So as I read through each of the chapters, I found a connection with the encouragement each author received from the God Who really does care and understand what we are going through.

One of the things I really valued was the fact that this book didn't try to give any answers, nor offer any false hope or false promises... in some of the cases, the decisions went beyond the woman's desire to conceive, to her desire to be a mum, and looking into adoption or surrogacy... not every journey will have the outcome we think it should have. This is a very sobering thought!

The final chapter included stories from those who had become mum's, through one means or another. I found this an excellent way to conclude the book. I appreciate the fact that the author / editor Marlo  wasn't trying to make anyone feel guilty for feeling the way we do in this walk, rather, she found a way for us to identify with people who are just like us, to learn from them, to be encouraged by their stories and to find relief in the fact that, as one woman said, It's OK to cry, it's OK to grieve and it's OK to get mad at God!

I would have loved to know the outcomes of each of the stories highlighted in the book, especially as it was first published in 2001. It would be interesting to know where each of the couples are at now. But ours is not to know, ours is to read, dip in and out of and gain strength from the testimonies of women who God has led on this path before us.

I would urge you to check out this book, especially if you feel you are the only one who struggles with your faith and your journey to conceive.