Encouragement In Random Places

A couple of months ago, I was invited to be interviewed for the Salvation Army's War Cry about my journey with infertility. I met with the girl conducting the interview and we had a good old chat.... I even somehow managed to not cry, although I think this is more to do the fact that I'd brought a packet of tissues with me. If I hadn't, guaranteed I would have burst into waterfalls while telling the story of my struggle.

Needless to say that once the article had been printed and sent to me, I completely forgot about it, kinda assuming that only Salvationists would read it... And I didn't think I knew any.

But then!
In my paid job, one of the roles I have is to organise the annual international conference. This year's event just finished on Sunday. So I was completely taken aback when a couple stopped me in my tracks, enroute to sorting out some minor crises, and told me that they had accidentally bought a copy of that ONE issue of War Cry which contained my interview....and they knew me because they happened to support and pray for the organisation I work with.

Wow!
Small world!

They were really encouraging actually. She had married him late in life, after his first wife had died (they were in their 70s) and so she had never had children of her own. She could relate to an extent with what I had shared, and thought it was a brave thing to have done, but so necessary as there are too many people who are going through the stuff of infertility but it NEVER gets spoken about.

They left me with the assurance that they would be praying for me, and had been since reading the interview.

So yeah, you never know how God is going to use the most random of situations to impact, enourage or inspire any of us! :-)


Father God, I thank You and praise You because although I may never know how the interview was received, I know from the one conversations have had about it, that people who have read it are being challenged, encouraged and may gain some insight into the life of a friend or loved one who is struggling to conceive. Father, I pray that if it is Your will for me to speak out about this more, I would never shy away from the vulnerability of being so open, so You can comfort and help someone else. In Jesus name. 

More Lessons From Scripture: Husbands and Wives

I love Hubby to pieces, but at the moment, he is struggling in his walk with the Lord, to the point where to even pray for me when I ask him, he doesn't feel he is in a place to do that. This makes it really difficult for me, as I read time-and-time again of Christian couples who prayed together and saw God answer their prayers for a child.

I totally believe that God wants this for Christian marriages. I fully believe that a Christ-centered marriage has a strength and a depth between a husband and wife, which other couples miss. And so for me to be in this situation - I have found this Journey for Bubba that much harder. All I would like, is for Hubby and I to pray together. 

This last Sunday, though, God spoke to me so clearly about this situation, that He has set at ease the stress and pressure I have been feeling in my heart. He is so awesome like that. For a while, because I have been praying for Hubby, and seeing only slight glimpses of the answer I desperately seek, it becomes easy to think that God isn't listening. But He sent two women to speak to me at Church - one had a vision of me seeing my prayers added to the bowl of incense which is poured out before the throne of the Lord, as described in Revelation 5:8: ...and golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints, and Revelation 8:3-4: He was given much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all the saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, with the prayers of the saints, ascended before God from the angel’s hand. The second lady spoke of how the Lord had placed a connection in her spirit to pray for me for breakthrough. She has offered to meet with me specifically to pray for the strongholds which are preventing the breakthrough I need, although she has no idea what these are. I immediately knew this was relating to Hubby, and also for my Journey for Bubba. 

But even before these two women spoke to me, God had already spoken His encouragement to me through my study of the women of the Bible who struggled to conceive. 

So keeping in mind the fact that I felt as though I don't have the prayerful support of Hubby, and have felt as though I was trying to stand strong and fight this battle alone... I started to remind God of how important husbands were to the "barren" women in the Bible (you know them ones when you try to tell God about His own story!):

• Sarah, as the woman married to Abraham, was told via her husband she would conceive - You, Lord, spoke to Abraham FIRST... she overheard You and laughed!
• Rebekkah conceived after her husband pleaded with You in prayer on her behalf. I don't know what she may or may not have said to him but You Lord, listened to her husband and she conceived.
• Then Elizabeth wasn't even privy to the conversation You had with her husband, Zachariah because he was in the Most Holy Place and then was struck dumb and couldn't relate any of what You, Lord, had told him! 

You see, God, do You see how important it is for the husband to be in the journey with his wife! Do You see what You have done through these marriages, because I do - I see exactly how important it is for the wife to have the spiritual support of her husband!!

Point made, rant over!!!!

The Lord, graciously and calmly, pointed me to Hannah:

• She spoke to the Lord DIRECTLY as she prayed ON HER OWN at the Temple. Elkanah was a Godly man, in that he made the annual pilgrimages to the Temple in Jerusalem when required, providing offering for himself and his family, but in response to Hannah's heart-cry, he gave her a very human - very manly - response, when he said to his wife "Am I not better to you than 10 sons" (1 Samuel:1:8). He didn't connect with her on a spiritual level, he didn't appear to have the same level of faith in God's healing power to pray and intercede on Hannah's behalf or to join Hannah when she went to the Temple to pray. Hannah had to deal with her anguish, her grief alone. She knew the only way to be heard, as she desired to have a child of her own, was to seek the Lord directly, which is when we read of the vow she made to God. She was alone in this moment. Yet the Lord was so close to her in that moment. 
• The other woman was Rachel. She was the wife of Jacob, who became the Father of twelve sons, the one whom the nation of Israel is named after. But at the time, she was barren, regardless of how much she tried to have a child, and she became human in her responses, saying to her husband, "give me a child or else I will die" (Genesis 30:1). We read of poor Rachel's plight as she watches her maid, her rival-wife-sister, her sister's maid all conceiving lots of wonderful healthy babies for her husband, Jacob. we can share her anguish as child 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11 is born, and each time, she is still waiting, still childless, still barren. We don't know how Jacob supported his wife through this, we don't know if he interceded on her behalf. We know he got angry with her (Genesis 30:2), maybe felt helpless on her behalf? But we do know that Rachel prayed. Although we don't know the exact words she spoke, as with Hannah, we do know that God listened to HER, remembered HER and opened her womb (Genesis 30:22).

Point made, I was silenced!

There may be wives out there who don't have the full spiritual support of their husbands, not just temporarily, but on a permanent basis, as there are women who are married to non-Christian men. Be encouraged that God is as tuned in to your prayers, ad He is to the prayers of a Christian husband, or to the prayers of a husband and wife standing together in prayer. I would encourage you to ask the Lord to bring you a prayer partner who will pray with you for the child you long to conceive, because I know that there is strength in praying with someone, "...if two of you agree on earth, concerning anything they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven" (Matthew 18:19). But don't lose heart that your prayers alone are in vain, because the Lord has promised to hear those who call on His name. And just as He heard the prayers of Rachel and Hannah - He hears your prayers too. Be encouraged, and don't give up. The journey isn't over yet, you are not barren, you are fruitful and one day, the Lord will bring to bear the fruit of your womb. The fruit of my womb. 

God's Connections

So I was sitting alone, watching TV, eating rich dark chocolate and drinking a delicious chilled glass of Rose, in between the tears, trying to comprehend the concept of the news I'd just received. The prospect of needing to have surgery in a last-ditch attempt for Medical Intervention, to try and clear the Blocked Fallopian Tube which has so far been hindering Hubby and me from conceiving, was quite a lot to take in, when I had a call out-of-the-blue from a friend. 

She had been trying to find out who "Bubba's Hopeful Mumma" was until a mutual friend of ours had connected us (I had recently told her I had been writing this as a way of helping myself to process what was happening and had sent her a link which she had forwarded onto friends who are also dealing with subfertility). It turns out we were both walking on the same path, silently thinking we were alone in our walks! Turns out we had both felt like God wasn't listening to the cries of our hearts. Turns out we both had felt like avoiding the Sunday service on Mother's Day. Turns out we thought we had lost contact apart from the odd Facebook like or comment, but God had other plans! 

Too often we hide our own pain out of the fear of how we will be perceived by others, out of a sense of guilt at our failure to do or be what should be natural, or out of a sense of wanting to not be a burden to anyone, but God has a difference way of helping us to deal with our painful Journey for Bubba:

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 

We find comfort in our individual Journey from the Holy Spirit - the Comforter Jesus promised to us - and we are then able to comfort one another, encourage others who are also on the same path, supporting each other, instead of allowing each of us to feel alone on this path. 

We had a great time sharing on the phone, laughing at those crazy mood-swing moments, releasing the pain of the monthly struggle with someone who not only empathises  but who totally understands, because she is on the same path. We could encourage one another and help to build each other's faith up because there are times, even during the past week, when my faith is reduced to the size of the smallest of the small mustard seeds. 

Oh how we need this. 

Oh how we need to be able to share our stories.

Oh how we need to know we are not alone in our struggle to conceive Bubba.

Same path... different Journey!


Lord, I pray that as each woman who knows You encounters the path of infertility, that You would place a support around her of women who are also on the same path. I pray that You would make it clear to her that she is not alone on her Journey for Bubba, but that You would create a network of like-minded women around each other who understands what each is going through and will encourage and support her, to pick her up when she stumbles, to remind her it is OK to grieve when her heart is filled with sorrow and who will cry with her, and laugh with her. Lord, I pray that You would awaken the Church to the bigger issues surrounding subfertility and that we would become a safe-haven for all couples who are struggling to conceive. In Jesus name I pray.

Encouraged By My Church

I have been really encouraged recently by the support of my local Church. As a speaker at the Women's Conference last year, my talk included the current story of my struggle to conceive. God had challenged me at the time to be open about what I was going through, which was so fresh for me... the week before the conference I'd had to have the HSG xray and the week after I'd had to have another blood test! But when I decided to submit wholeheartedly to the Lord, that means submit (Annoyingly!), even when I'd rather hide away!

As a result, I have found out that there are at least two other women on a similar journey. One for twelve years. One for eight years. One of these ladies has become a fantastic source of strength, encouragement and support for me.

Another outcome of sharing my story is a huge amount of prayer support I have received from the Church. At the beginning of the year we joined together on a period of prayer and fasting; on the list of prayer points was "healing for couples who are struggling to conceive". This was a huge blessing, as there are so many women who are struggling in their silent battle, alone. The Church isn't always great at dealing with some of the issues which may not affect the majority - eg singleness and infertility. The fact that my Church leaders had recognised that the issue is a big one for the women in our Church, is a huge encouragement.

The biggest source of encouragement came recently, when out of the blue, one of the Pastors phoned me to say that a couple of women in the Prayer Team had gone into the Church one morning, having felt a burden to pray for the women in the congregation who were struggling to conceive a baby. Random act of kindness on their part. Reassurance from God that He is working on all our cases.

If you can, pray for women in your own congregation who have to face this issue month-after-month. You may not necessarily know who they are, but God does. Maybe He will find a way to let that woman know she has been covered in prayer - I can promise you it will make her feel less alone on this journey, and encouraged by the silent support you offer her.

Father God, thank You for stirring the spirits of those women to pray for me and the others in our congregation who are TTC. Thank You for seeing into our silent cries and the prayers of our own hearts, and joining other voices to ours. Thank You for prompting others to cover us in prayer - bless them Lord for their faithful obedience to You. I ask that you would stir other women to pray and cover our sisters who are TTC - whether we know the story of their journey or not. In Jesus name I pray.