Devotions at Work - Encouragement From God

I am blessed in my work environment, in that I work for a Christian organisation, and every morning we start with devotions. Depending on who is leading it, this is either an informal discussion, or a formal teach (usually when the Boss leads it!!). When the office based team are doing it, we tend go through a book, chapter by chapter.

This morning, the Boss chose one of the passages which has been one of the foundational Scriptures for my own Journey of Faith. 1 Samuel chapter 1 which relays Hannah's struggle with TTC, and the moment she encounters God answering her prayer (I've written about Hannah in a number of posts on here, including this one, this one and this one)!

Now, I have never spoken to him about it... the most I had to tell him was a couple of weeks ago when both me and my colleague who are both working on a major project due for the beginning of July were facing operations at the same time (for different reasons). We had to explain what was happening and tell him we'd come up with a contingency plan, just in case we were both off at the same time. All he knows is that I am facing an Op for Gynea reasons!! No detail!!! It wouldn't take a genius to work it out though... I'm married, of child-bearing age (just), facing an operation and childless!!! So, to me at least, it is kinda obvious there may be an issue!!

So, if he doesn't know about my Journey for Bubba, God obviously laid it on his heart to bring it to the Staff Devotions for a reason. And as we read around, I was struck by the relevance of 'my' verses. So, I'm going to share a couple of them with you, which I ended up reading as the group read "around the table":

V12: As she continued praying before the Lord, Eli observed her mouth.

OK, so there's nothing glaringly obvious in that verse... I'm not sure there's really anything to observe about my mouth... but God observes when I talk with Him, and hears what I say, even when others are completely oblivious to my praying.

V17: Then Eli answered, "Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to Him." 

V27: [Hannah said to Eli] "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to Him."

Both of these verses are INCREDIBLY relevant and on-point!!! Of all the verses I could have ended up reading within the group - these are the two which are so significant in terms of where I am at and my Journey for Bubba. The first one - is the high priest telling Hannah her prayer has been answered, even before she and her Hubby got together a few days later.

The second verse is a few years later, after the child has been conceived, born, and weened and Hannah confirms that the Lord indeed had heard her heart-cry, which the High Priest confirmed to her, and now here she was a living testimony saying almost word-for-word, exactly what Eli had said to her.

This, for me, is being added to my faith arsenal... that the Lord has indeed heard me, and will grant my petition made to Him, so that in the years to come I will proclaim as Hannah before me, "For this child I prayed, and the Lord has granted me my petition that I made to Him."

Encouraged by Hannah's Story

Over the weekend, I have heard a number of speakers at a Conference I attended and in my local Church, and RANDOMLY - I say randomly because there was no hint they would be bringing it up, it seemed to pop-up from nowhere within their sermons - the story of Hannah was used to exhort the speakers listeners.

As someone who is on the tough journey TTC, Hannah is one of those women in the Bible who is a huge source of inspiration and encouragement to me. In many ways, I am similar to her. In many ways, I am walking a very different path. Our main similarities is of being a Jewish woman struggling to conceive a child naturally. We both have "step-children" though unlike Hannah, Hubby's ex is not on the scene and can in no way torment me with her fruitfulness against my barrenness - probably helped by the fact that I don't know her, having only met her one time, and that she lives 40 miles away from us, not in the same house as me, as Hannah had to contend with!

I also share, with Hannah, the desire to take my requests to God. I might not live in Jerusalem, in the time of the Temple, but as a living Temple of the Lord, I strive to lay at His feet my hopes, my desires, my dreams, the deepest longings of my heart. Unlike Hannah - there is no High Priest watching over me accusing me of being a drunkard. But the Great High Priest Himself - Jesus - He watches over me, and intercedes with me for the child I long to hold. He wraps His arms around me in those moments when it is too much of a burden to bear, and supports me, leaning me against Him as we walk through this Journey for Bubba.

Faith is  funny thing. There are times when I have masses of faith - usually near the start of the cycle, or around the time of ovulation! But there are also times when my faith seems so weak, so small, I'm not even sure if it resembles a mustard seed even. Usually around the time of the the end of the cycle, when another egg silently spills away, the promise of new life fades with the departure of Aunt Flow. In those moments I, like Hannah, cry bitter tears of sorrow and hope lost, wondering what God is doing in this Journey for Bubba. In those moments, when faith is so small it's on the verge of fading away, I cry out to God, "I can't do this on my own, I want to believe - Lord, help my unbelief!"

And you know what - it's OK to do that. Jesus knows how hard this is for me - and maybe for you too. He totally gets it that there are times when we do need Him to help our unbelief for the monthly battle we face for the desire of our heart, the desire to be Mumma to our very own Bubba.

So if you are in that moment when you feel hope fading - don't let the monthly disappointment displace your hope for the future child you long for. Don't let our monthly disappointment overwhelm you to the point of turning your back on God. When faith seems at it's lowest, it is OK to say to God - Lord, I don't have faith at this moment, but I want to have faith in what You can do Lord - Give me faith, help my unbelief. In that small act alone, we are still demonstrating faith to God... that's why faith is a funny thing! And God is faithful. He will not only answer your prayer - He will bring an increase!! That's what He does!!! That's the funny thing about God. He always answers beyond our thoughts or imaginations. I know, because He is doing it for me too.