Testimony of Infertility by Sheridan Voysey

On my day off work, I was sitting in my  "second office" and decided to listen to a podcats someone had sent me a link to. It was the incredible testimony of Sheridan Voysey, who spoke at the Christian Resources Exhibition in 2013. His title was, "Committed to Succeed" and he used his own personal account of "Expectation. Disappointment. Expectation. Disappointment. Expectation. Disappointment." to demonstrate what it is to be committed to God's plan for your life.

I'm not going to try and condense what he says into my own version of his talk, I would recommend you have a listen for yourself, because God may give you something different to focus on. Click here for the link on the CRE podcast site. But here are a couple of things Sheridan says which really struck me:

"If life carries on as normal, I don't think I can handle it... something has to change. [Sheridan's wife] Merryn had had one dream for her life, to become a mother, and after 10 years of going through a broken dream, that dream was over."

I have also wondered how I can cope with life, if nothing was to ever change. How can I reassess where my life is going, if I never become a mum?

"Who are you if you don't become a mum? If you take away all those secondary identities, when all the dreams are gone... who are you?" What's left is you are a child of God... when you go through the wilderness, you discover who you really are."

I am learning this. When God literally strips away your whole support network, so you have no choice but to trust Him, rely on Him, and lean on Him. This is not an easy place to be - but it's made a LITTLE BIT easier when I realise I am not the only one God is challenging in this way.

Encouraged for Mother's Day

I have an amazing friend who I have mentioned before in this blog. She and her Hubby have been on this journey for their own Bubba for about 12 years, and she is such an incredible source of strength and encouragement.

I have been faced with the prospect of what to do on Mother's Day, which is coming up at the weekend. Now if I am being honest, I actually wanted to hide under the duvet, sobbing and hiding away from the world for 24 hours - emerging only to honour my own mum on the old dog and bone! I had planned to do that - and had told Hubby to do life independent of me on Mothering Sunday!!

This may be a bit extreme, but the way I see it, is that had my body been working normally, I would have been a mum - a real mum, not just a step-mum! But my body - my reproductive system is faulty, and so I am not a mum! But since making my announcement to Hubby, the Holy Spirit wouldn't leave me alone to wallow! Isn't that just the way!! The Lord has been challenging me to live life abundantly - yes, even on Mothering Sunday. It may not be about me, but it is about honouring the women who are mum's some of whom are related to me, some of whom are good friends of mine.

And then the real conviction came when in Church on Sunday. The announcement about bringing mums to Church for Mother's Day was made, because there was to be a special treat for every mum... a delicious specially baked Cupcake. Now, my amazing friend, she is the one who is making these cupcakes, and I can guarantee, they will be delicious, because I have sampled many a delicious flavour from her kitchen!! Seriously, this woman could easily open up her own Cupcake bakery and make an absolute fortune... they are gorgeous!

Can you imagine, struggling to conceive a baby of your own for twelve years, but taking the step to bake hundreds of cakes for all the mums in the Church to honour and bless them??? That's a sacrifice of love!

I was so inspired and challenged by the act of love she is doing for the women who are in the place she so desires to be in for herself, that I don't think I can hide away under the duvet on Mother's Day. If she can face the day with a big smile on her face and a delicious cupcake in her hand... then I should at least put a genuine smile on my face. **sigh**!!

So long planned duvet day!



**UPDATE**
Following the failure of the Clomid and Hubby making a decision to protect me, I ended up not attending Church on the Sunday morning. Hubby and I enjoyed a lazy Sunday morning, walking into town for a coffee and slice of cake together, and to pick up a bird for our lunch. When we returned home, Hubby set about preparing a lovely roast dinner for us. He realised, before I had, that the morning service would have been to much to bear. I love him for that.