Acceptance

OK, so I have come to the conclusion that the impending operation could actually be a good thing. As much as I am loath to admit this, I have to accept it. for me, the biggest thing, is no longer about clearing out my blocked Fallopian Tube, it has become about learning the extent of the condition I have in order to understand the pain I feel.

I am "simple folk" really.It is a fact that endometriosis causes pain, which I often experience at the most inappropriate times - like after intercourse (poor Hubby feels absolutely awful when he notices the silent tears which force themselves down my cheeks uninvited!). But in my body, there isn't a real understanding in my head about why I can often be in so much pain, I have to drive with a hot water bottle hidden under my top, or be at work, and excuse myself to the toilet to hide, because the pain has been that intense, that sudden it brings tears to my eyes.

In this regard, I welcome the laparoscopic salpingostomy for the answers it will bring. And in this respect - I think I do need to have this procedure. As the pain intensifies, I have reached that place of needing to fully grasp why. I know what I know about endometriosis from the internet and great sites like, The Infertility Network or Endometriosis UK and I praise God for women who have walked this read before me who have recognised the need for answers and understanding.

But I need to know what is happening in my own body. As much as I am loathe to admit that this procedure is necessary in my Journey for Bubba.