But three years... is that what I have to face too? I'm not sure I have three years left in me to wait! I really don't want to be an older mum. I want to be around to potentially see the majority of my child's life. I want to have the energy and enthusiasm my parents had with us, with my own child... you know, playing in the garden, taking them for activities and joining in, rather than sitting back and watching them.But in three years, I'll be 38. How much energy will I have when Bubba is 5 and full of beans!! Does the journey my parents took have an affect on the journey I am undertaking? It scares me to think it could take so long. I'm already frustrated after five months! I honestly didn't expect it to take so long! And yet most women who are consciously trying for a baby will conceive within 6 -12 months. So I am, at the moment just being "Mrs Average".
There is, at times, conflict between my faith as a Christian - recognising that ultimately, my life is in the hands of my Lord, and He knows the perfect times for the seasons I am to walk through - and my heart's desire to be a Mumma to Bubba. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the substance of things not yet seen. Trusting God in this kind of situation is the only way for me. He is the giver of life. No one can make themselves pregnant - even IVF is not a fail-safe solution to conception issues.
How much of a role will my parents journey play in mine and Hubby's journey? Only the Lord knows. And I know the journey is endurable with Him, with each month which goes past.
