About Me

My photo
Hi. Welcome to my "taboo" blog. My name is Steph, and when I first started this, I was still in my thirties. In 2017, I switch decades! I am a Christian, so underlying everything I do and say is the Word of God, and the foundational truths I have learnt over the years. This doesn't mean I'm perfect - I am human. It just means I recognise I need God's help to live this life and try to live out His way, as best I can. So that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for taking the time to read through my blog, I hope you draw strength, hope or encouragement from what you read.

Monday, May 2, 2016

Transition Hurts

I was in Church the other Sunday, sitting in the sound booth as I was on desk duty. Which was such a blessing actually! I mean, I love doing the desk anyway, and being part of the worship team in that way. But on this particlar occasion I really appreciated
the dark room!

The Pastor was speaking about TRANSITION and at first, I was happily listening to what he was saying, half distracted by a 1 year old girl sitting on the back row directly in front of our window with her dad. She seriously looks like her mum, who wasn't there. We were playing peek-a-boo, I am ready to train that girl up for the sound team! Ha! Did I already say she seriously looks like her mum?

Unknown to me, my brain was processing this factor quite heavily. And wondering what my own bubba would look like, had I been blessed with child. So when the Pastor spoke of TRANSITION my eyes started working with my brain against the professional me. Suddenly I had these unbeckoned tears streaming down my face. I was on duty, for crying out loud!

It just goes to show, even when we don't think we are processing what's happening around us, we are on some level. The failed marriage, the unsuccessful attempt to have children, the desire hasn't lessened just because my circumstances changed. This is a season of transition and a new level of the same journey. Maybe God will bring new insight, but now I am a single woman again still with Endometriosis, still desperate to want to hold my own Bubba, only now in this transitional season, I have to process this in a new light, and....dare I say...cling to God even more tightly in the hope that one day, this particular dream will come true still.

I pray that whatever your dream is, however it looks right now, that you don't lose sight of the love God has for you, and the promise in His Word that He has good gifts to bestow on His children, which includes you and me. I pray that you will know His abundant blessing in your life, even in the middle of an incredibly difficult journey. In Jesus name.