Over the last few months I have seen a number of articles from women from a variety of walks of life speaking out about fertility struggles. The latest one, this morning, is with presenter Kirstie Allsop who says in an interview with the Daily Telegraph (quoted in the Daily Mail), "‘Some of the greatest pain that I have seen among friends is the struggle to have a child...We should speak honestly and frankly about fertility."
The basis of what she said has come from watching friends of her generation being coerced into fighting for that perfect life - the degree, the career, the fabulous home and lifestyle AND THEN settle into marriage and becoming a mother. Kirstie is convinced that the women she knows who are fighting a massive battle against infertility, weren't given a fair chance by society. She considers herself a feminist, and feels that the pressure on women to have it all has brought too many of our generation into a place of deep regret and longing for their own baby.
Although, and in the interview Kirstie acknowledges this, not all women tried to live up to the pressure she describes, for some women life dealt them an unfair hand - they didn't meet their husband early enough, or they have conditions like PCOS or Endometriosis which have affected them from an early age. But she makes a very important point, which I also firmly believe... We need to speak up about fertility!
There are many reasons why we don't speak out... embarrassment, pity, the stupid things people say, fear of what people will think of us, breakdown in relationships when others don't know how to respond, oh, and the biggie - the stigma STILL associated with infertility... These are very real reasons, often - unfortunately for many of us - based on the reactions we have already received from those we have dared to share our situations with.
The Church should set the precedent for society, but the Church is as silent as the world on the whole issue of infertility. So where we silently suffer on this road, surrounded by our Church family, inside our screams are so loud they are literally echoing around God'd throne room. Which is why I believe there is a stirring of something within many areas of the Church - from a course which HTB ran a couple of years ago in London, to the women's conference I attended earlier this year where one of speakers encouraged women struggling with infertility for about 10 minutes. It's a start.
I think the more women in the media speak out about infertility, the more the Church will begin to hear the silent echoes of the women amongst us, as they reverberate back to earth. And when this happens, whether in my generation or not, I really believe we will know how to fully carry, support and stand alongside couples in our Church family who are literally staggering under the weight of their burden.
Father God, may that day soon come.
And where I can be more vocal - here I am, use me. In Jesus name.
- Bubba's Hopeful Mumma
- Hi. Welcome to my "taboo" blog. My name is Steph, and when I first started this, I was still in my thirties. In 2017, I switch decades! I am a Christian, so underlying everything I do and say is the Word of God, and the foundational truths I have learnt over the years. This doesn't mean I'm perfect - I am human. It just means I recognise I need God's help to live this life and try to live out His way, as best I can. So that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for taking the time to read through my blog, I hope you draw strength, hope or encouragement from what you read.