You know what, it was so good being able to just talk without needing to explain anything, with someone who just "gets it".. the obsession with our monthly cycle, the obsession with what foods to eat at what time of the month, the obsession with peeing on sticks... and the obsession with the wonder-app which is the literal holder of the mid-cycle calendar... ("yes it's OK to go out tonight" or "We are staying in and going to bed tonight!!").
We spent the night comparing our apps, sharing our stories and had a real hearty laugh at some of the things we do... Bicycle after intimacy, bum on a pillow... not moving for at least 30 minutes... The "advice" we have been given... avoiding certain foods / smoky environments / mother's day services when one cycle ends and a new one begins. Only someone who has been there can laugh with you at such antics, and cry with you at the depth of our pain!
If anyone passing our table had heard any of our conversation, they might have blushed at times, but between us, there was the freedom for us to just relax and let it all out. I know I needed that. I needed to have someone I can just talk about all the embarrassing things which make up this journey, without worrying about what I was saying, because not many people know how to handle a situation like ours, and they never know what to say.
We both studied the menu carefully... I was toward the end of my cycle, so wanted to eat something like a steak, with it high iron content, whereas she was recently after ovulation, and still wanted a steak. Normally when Hubby and I go out, he doesn't care why I want something - he just wants to know what I want. Needless to say, neither of us had alcohol.... JUST in case this was the month (Turned out it wasn't for either of us).
But the thing with having Christian friends on the same journey, is that we were able to encourage one another with the Word of God, shared the things God has spoken to us about for our journey's and remind ourselves that in spite of all we are going through, we can each recognise the blessing of God in our lives. This is not an easy aspect of walking through this journey. In all honesty, there are times when I really don't want to think on anything EXCEPT the fact that I don't have a child! If I'm really honest, there are times when nothing else really seems to matter, because wanting to be a Mumma to my own Bubba can become so consuming in my heart and mind, that I retreat into my sorrow and hurt. And there are times when there just is nothing anyone can say... but not everyone understands that, and will say what they think you want to hear. This night was different! This night was a relief!
In those moments, having a Journey Buddy like this is just what I need... and I hope it is vice versa - I know there are times she has sent me a message, so I can pray for her and support her too. It's a two-way support, and as she is about to embark on her next step, she will face some tough days, and I pray the Lord will use me to strengthen her, as He carries her through it. Many times in life, we end up on a route we never ever thought we would have to take, but our Heavenly father knows the end from the beginning and He knows the steps we will have to take. He is our guide, our hope is in Him. He is our strength, our future is in Him.
A Journey Buddy is someone I would highly recommend; if you don't have someone in your life like this, then I earnestly PRAY that God brings someone in your path QUICKLY. The benefit of having someone like this walking with me has been huge, and I thank God for bringing her back into my life. I pray that when she has her Bubba, and I have mine, we will rejoice together when our time of mourning has turned to dancing, and our time of tears reaps the joy of our precious God-given gift - a child.
We made a promise we would meet again when either of us falls pregnant, and again when we can introduce our Bubba to one another... Until then, I hope she realises through the journey she is on, the challenges she faces, the difficult path she is walking, that I am with her each step of the way... Journey Buddies... pinky promise!