You know, I've actually had people telling me that if I speak out aloud the fear within me, that I negate the faith which could cause something to happen "this time". If my being real and honest about what I'm feeling inside can negate the faith on which I stand, in my God who can make possible what is seemingly impossible, then what does that actually say about faith?!!??!
I know my God is big enough to handle my fear. He is more than able to work through those times when I doubt... shock horror!!! A Christian who doubts!!! God doesn't need me to pretend to not be afraid, when He knows the very depths of my heart cry. So if I don't allow myself the freedom to drop the mask when it's just me and Him and say exactly what I'm feeling....then I think this is more dangerous than daring to speak out about the fears which rise up each month.
Faith is not about hiding what you feel. Faith is about acknowledging the fear, but choosing to stand firm that God is able, in spite of what doctors say, or in spite of the way the body seems to fight against what should be a natural process. Faith is the active hope of what we long for, and recognition of the wait we are journeying through. Faith keeps us standing each month, and champions over fear every time.
We are who we are. We can't hide that. Well....We think we can. We try to hide it. We try to hide it even from ourselves. It doesn't negate the faith God's Spirit has placed within you...and speaking out what you really feel will not negate the work of God in your body or in your life.
There is power in our words. And we can speak life into the journey for Bubba. We can speak life to our hope. We can speak life to our wombs. But honesty trumps negate every time! That's what I think. I don't believe I caused Aunt Flo's arrival by speaking out my fear. But I can keep my faith strong by speaking out the promises of God and His word.
Father God I thank You that You are above my fears and anxieties. I pray that Your Word will keep me strong in faith...Firstly in who You are. Secondly, in Your promises. Thirdly in Your plans for my life. In Jesus name.