About Me

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Hi. Welcome to my "taboo" blog. My name is Steph, and when I first started this, I was still in my thirties. In 2017, I switch decades! I am a Christian, so underlying everything I do and say is the Word of God, and the foundational truths I have learnt over the years. This doesn't mean I'm perfect - I am human. It just means I recognise I need God's help to live this life and try to live out His way, as best I can. So that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for taking the time to read through my blog, I hope you draw strength, hope or encouragement from what you read.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012


I'm one of those people who likes to know exactly what I'm doing... I love to research and when I was studying, loved nothing more than to research the essay I was writing.

Deciding to throw away the contraception was no different, it lead me to research what I could expect, how long it could take to conceive, and every month I look at the possible "pregnant" signs.

Going to the toilet a lot... could be pregnant... Constipated... could be pregnant... spotting around the time of my normal period... could be pregnant.... spotting is darker than normal... could be pregnant... feeling nauseous... could be pregnant... tired all the time... could be pregnant.

It got the the point where I convince myself every month - THIS time... the nausea, the tiredness, the constipation, the needing the loo a lot... it's all more than normal... I must be... Even when I spotted, I was convinced it was darker than normal. But clearly, I am still not pregnant.

I think there are times when researching something can be too much. I'm looking for all the signs and seeing what I want to see when it doesn't exist. Only to be smashed like a wave upon the rocks when the monthly cycle begins again. I don't want to cause myself this much stress each month, but when you know what you're looking for, you can't help but try to find it.

Am I the only one who puts myself through this pressure every month????