In the service this evening, at my Church,we sang a song which contains the lines,
"I put my life in Your hands I put my faith in Your plans"
When you reach the place when your empty womb and empty arms create such a deep longing and ache in your heart, where your dreams and heart-desire remains hidden from you - to stand and sing this line takes guts.
I don't mean that kind of blind singing which we often do just to follow the rest of the congregation. No. I mean to sing the words, knowing that you actually do mean them, even though it feels as though saying them rips something from your heart.
Is this what Jesus means by 'a sacrifice of praise'???
I can feel safe knowing my life is in God's hands. This is the safest place to be right now.
But the second bit is harder... Putting my faith in God's plans at the risk of my own plans and desires not being fulfilled. To really believe God has my best in His intentions. To allow faith to carry beyond the tears into His presence with boldness and security.
Father, help me to really know I can put my faith in Your plans, knowing that You will make all things right, according to what You are trying to do in me and through me. In Jesus' name.