About Me

My photo
Hi. Welcome to my "taboo" blog. My name is Steph, and when I first started this, I was still in my thirties. In 2017, I switch decades! I am a Christian, so underlying everything I do and say is the Word of God, and the foundational truths I have learnt over the years. This doesn't mean I'm perfect - I am human. It just means I recognise I need God's help to live this life and try to live out His way, as best I can. So that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for taking the time to read through my blog, I hope you draw strength, hope or encouragement from what you read.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Auntie Flo's Late Arrival

So, Auntie Flo arrived. 3 days late. I think doing the test helped to alleviate the anxiety so I'm not as tearful as I could have been had I been caught out by Auntie Flo's arrival.

What I would really love to do is stuff my face with lots of rich gooey chocolate to build up the "feel good" endorphins in my brain, but alas the Rosemary Conley diet I am doing doesn't allow for that. So I will have to console my sadness for another wasted month, another disconnected egg which has left me not pregnant, with a mug of low fat low cal hot chocolate.

So not quite the same!

Seriously, why is it so easy for some women, and yet so much harder on others? Am I making it harder on myself by wanting it so much? Is my body protesting in silence at the pressure I am putting myself under?

It would be so much easier if we could "play God" and decide on when to make a baby instead of having to leave it to Him to ordain the time. It would be easier, from my point of view. Less complicated if, like when I go to make a purchase, if I could just go "Right, I'm ready to have a baby... I'd like one to be conceived in December ready for September please!" Oh, if only it was that easy!!!

But God isn't at my beck and call. I'm at His mercy. He knows who my child will become and when it is their time to be born "for such a time as this". We all have a purpose. I want my child to become the best version of them she or he will become. That means I need to entrust the timing of their conception and birth into His hands, and not try to tell Him when I'm ready... although it is hard for me to grasp right now, because I would like a child... this process is so not about me or Hubby... it is about our son or daughter. It is about the man or woman God designs him or her to become. So he or she can reach the people with the giftings they have, at the right time and in the right place.

There is a bigger picture, I guess. My desires are a small part of the picture. Hubby's desires are another part of the picture. Our wider families desires for our family and future are another part of the picture. God can see the whole image, whereas we just see in part.

So sure - Auntie Flo is an unwelcome visitor... but one month - hopefully in the not too distant future - she won't come a-calling when she is expected!!!