But I can never fully understand the bond between a parent and their child. Not yet. Sometimes I wonder whether Hubby will have enough love to share with our Bubba, when we fall pregnant. Sometimes I wonder how our little one will connect with his older half-brother. Sometimes I wonder how the family dynamic will change and develop once Bubba is brought into the world.
Yesterday Hubby and I argued over a pair of trainers for our weekend boy. Not because I begrudge him buying stuff for his son - of course I don't. But I wonder whether when Bubba is old enough Hubby will be as generous as he is now. How do parents divide their hearts between their offspring?
I want my Stepson to be as big a part of Bubba's life as he can be. And I want our Bubba to benefit from having Daddy's attention and the benefit of Big Brothers devotion and love. He has a sister who lives at home with him, his mummy and his mummy's partner. The love he has for his sister is gorgeous, and yeah - being the older brother maybe tough for him at time, but he loves his little sister so much. How easy will he find loving Bubba whom he won't live with, and who he will only see on a fortnightly basis.
Our family can become the better for these changing relationships, in time, once Bubba is conceived. Until then - I pray Hubby and his Captain will have many precious memories to treasure together, so that when Bubba arrives in the world - the three of them will have as much of a strong bond as the two of them do now. If that's OK?
