I walked away from the Doctor's Surgery, clutching the appointment letter in my hand. I had initially shoved it in my bag, not wanting to read it with others around me. But then out in the open air, I just had this overwhelming urge to read it.
As I read though the details, the information was exactly as the lady had told me over the phone. The date of my appointment, the time I was expected. But when I read the department of the hospital I was to visit - that was when the tears threatened to flood down my face.
"Gynecology clinic - infertility department" or something like that... All I can really remember is THAT one word... infertility. It made my stomach churn.
I am NOT infertile! I shouted in my head, loud enough for my ovaries to hear, but silent enough that no one else would notice and think me a crazy lady. I am only 35 - I am still fertile!
Why do they feel the need to label it an "infertility clinic" why not "fertility unit" or something much kinder and less traumatic!! Or why not take out any reference to fertility in the name of the department! Why does it have to sound so brutal.
I am not infertile... I may be a late starter - but I am governed by God, not so much by what the tests may show. I am NOT infertile! I may be struggling to conceive, but hubby has been away a lot, and I have been unable to time our attempts with my ovulation clock! I am not infertile. God knows the times and the seasons He has attributed to hubby and me... He knows the right time for Bubba to be given to us.
So why have I decided to agree to the investigation of why I have not conceived? Does this mean I don't have faith in the Lord whom I profess to trust in? Not at all. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen. That describes me in relation to Bubba, and is straight from the Bible (Hebrews 11:1).
The way I see it - forewarned is forearmed!!! If I know whether there is a problem - even a mild blockage or whatever, then I can pray more effectively into the situation, rather than praying blindly. And I can ask other trusted friends to pray with me. I know God knows my body - inside and out. I know He knows whether there is a "problem" or not. He also knows how to "fix" the problem - after all, He did design and create the human body - the female body - the reproductive system - the child-bearing aspect of our design. So He knows how to "put it right"! In Him I will put my trust.
- Bubba's Hopeful Mumma
- Hi. Welcome to my "taboo" blog. My name is Steph, and when I first started this, I was still in my thirties. In 2017, I switch decades! I am a Christian, so underlying everything I do and say is the Word of God, and the foundational truths I have learnt over the years. This doesn't mean I'm perfect - I am human. It just means I recognise I need God's help to live this life and try to live out His way, as best I can. So that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for taking the time to read through my blog, I hope you draw strength, hope or encouragement from what you read.