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Hi. Welcome to my "taboo" blog. My name is Steph, and when I first started this, I was still in my thirties. In 2017, I switch decades! I am a Christian, so underlying everything I do and say is the Word of God, and the foundational truths I have learnt over the years. This doesn't mean I'm perfect - I am human. It just means I recognise I need God's help to live this life and try to live out His way, as best I can. So that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for taking the time to read through my blog, I hope you draw strength, hope or encouragement from what you read.

Monday, August 19, 2013

God's Whisper Into My Broken Heart

I wasn't sure about sharing this, but I would like one day, when Bubba is conceived, I would like to use this to reflect on the Journey the Lord has led me on with Bubba when he or she is old enough to understand how God has planned him or her. 

A few weeks ago, a member of the Church, who is in the same Home Group, called me one Sunday morning, as she'd had a word from the Lord for me. I was going to Church in the evening, and as I was still recovering from the op, I'd decided to only attend the one service. Anyway, she called me after lunch and blew me away with what she shared with me:

She told me she had been praying for me during the morning while she was getting ready for Church, and while she was praying the Lord gave her a picture - a revelation. She said she saw me watching TV, watching the news reports of the new Royal baby's arrival. She said that as she watched me, watching TV, I was wiping tears from my eyes. She said she was taken back to the time in her life when she was trying for a baby, for a son she had been told she would never had, and experienced an overwhelming grief with me as she had felt back then. Then as the reports came to and end, and another programme came on, I shook my hair and wiped my face as if to say "Right then. That's it! Time to just move on with things."

She said after showing her this picture, He told her to tell me two things. One: He is Creator, and His speciality is in new creation. Two: He has not taken me off the mother list.

What this lady didn't know was that Hubby and I were trying for Bubba, and that I had just had an operation to unblock my Fallopian tubes, which had failed. When I said this to her, she said she had always seen me as a career woman with goals and ambition, and had not been confident enough to share the picture with me, without first checking it with our Home Group leader (who knows our situation). 

Neither did she know that the picture the Lord had shown her was EXACTLY how I had been during all the wall-to-wall news reports were being broadcast about the new royal arrival. As I prayed for the new baby and his royal parents, I felt overwhelming grief about my own situation, as I tried to come to terms with the abandoned op I'd had a few days earlier. 

And only the Lord knew how close I was to giving up hope of ever becoming Mumma to our own Bubba. Where science has failed me, God won't. He restored my hope for the future of having Bubba...and my hope for a future, full stop. 

I don't know how long we will have to wait - because God doesn't always reveal a time frame. But He has given me a glimpse into the work He is doing behind the scenes for Hubby and me. God IS the Creator of life - and where my Fallopian tubes have become blocked and are failing at this moment in time, God knows how to bypass this and to make a way for Bubba to be conceived where there seems to be absolutely no way. He is God. He will make a way through for the right sperm to connect with a healthy egg, and for a healthy Bubba to be conceived, implanted and develop. 

Thank You Lord for for whispering Your words of comfort and love, of a hope and a future into me broken heart. Thank You for the faithfulness of women like this who You are able to bring revelation and prophecy to, because they seek Your face. I pray for anyone reading this who needs this kind of encouragement for their own Journey for Bubba, that You would also whisper Your love, comfort, hope and future into their broken hearts, in Jesus' name.

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