When I took off the dressing, I knew something wasn't right. Maybe it was the unpleasant aroma. Maybe the crusty yellow stuff. Maybe it was the weeping stuff. Either which way, I knew I had to go to the doctor to get it checked.
Anyway, the doctor I saw nearly had me in tears. He was a new or temporary doctor who I hadn't seen before. When he realised what I'd had done, and the fact that the surgeon had had to abandon the procedure, he kindly asked me what they had advised they could do for me now. I told him about my allergy to Clomid and that IVF was off the table. We spoke about Natural IVF (me explaining what it was to him!!) for a while, and then he prescribed me with antibiotics to clear the infection.
In talking to him, I realised how dangerously close to feeling depressed I was. Not the sadness at the situation, but at my sense of hopelessness at it. I am sad, of course, at the failed surgery, and the apparent hopelessness of the future chances for Bubba. But if I know God, and I do, then He has promised He has a hope and a future for me. At this stage, I have no idea what it looks like. But in the midst of my hopelessness, I have to hold on to the hope I have in Him.
Phew... this faith thing is hard! I don't know what to hope for, at this stage. But I do know God is upholding me as He gently leads me. He is my hope. He is my shalom. He is my future.
- Bubba's Hopeful Mumma
- Hi. Welcome to my "taboo" blog. My name is Steph, and when I first started this, I was still in my thirties. In 2017, I switch decades! I am a Christian, so underlying everything I do and say is the Word of God, and the foundational truths I have learnt over the years. This doesn't mean I'm perfect - I am human. It just means I recognise I need God's help to live this life and try to live out His way, as best I can. So that's me in a nutshell. Thanks for taking the time to read through my blog, I hope you draw strength, hope or encouragement from what you read.